Categories
Craft

Improve Your Sensory Description to Bring Readers Back For More

Here’s an exercise I highly recommend doing outside, but you can do it wherever you are.

It’s a simple exercise about being present in a place, centering yourself, and using your entire body to take note of the world around you. Use your eyes, ears, nose, and fingertips to observe everything. What does the place smell like? What does it feel like? What are the textures? Be specific in your descriptions.

Just make a list. You don’t need to write lush, vivid sentences right now—just be as specific as possible. If you hear birds singing, try to identify what kind of birds they are. If you notice flowers, determine their type. If you smell an herbal scent, figure out if it’s lavender, oregano, or something else.

The goal is to dig deep into specifics.

Just this morning on my walk, I brushed a hand over a short pine tree and came up with the following sentences on the fly, which might open a novel someday:

Despite their name, pine needles are actually soft, almost silky, to the touch when caressed the right way. Rub them the wrong way, and they’ll stick you. My mom was the same way.

Will it win a literary award? No, but it’s a vivid image, ain’t it?

For example, one of my students went out to her front porch and sat on the “red brick step” off her porch. Just those three words already create a vivid image.

Then she noticed she couldn’t sit there long without a pillow for her back, which tells us a lot about her if she were a character. Imagine opening your story with such a specific detail: “Frances sat on the red brick front porch steps, thinking she would need a pillow before too long.” This one sentence reveals much about the character.

Another student mentioned going out to her back porch and watching a neighbor hosing down beach furniture. While not highly specific, this detail suggests proximity to a beach. Instead of saying, “Frances lived on the beach,” you can show it through specific observations.

In crafting your story, choose which details to keep and which to trim. You might start with specific details and then refine them in revision. For instance, instead of saying someone walked a dog, specify the breed, color, and characteristics. A detail like “a white hypoallergenic Labradoodle” tells us much more than just “a dog.”

Allow your sensory memory to influence your writing. One student described a ceiling fan’s pull chain tapping against the base, a sound many of us recognize: tick tick tick tick tick. Such sensory details can draw readers deeper into the story. Consider what memories those sensory details evoke—whether they bring warm, fuzzy feelings or negative associations. Does that ticking sound take you back to grandma’s kitchen baking cookies? Or does it take you back to terrible room in a terrible house where terrible things happened?

There’s no right or wrong response, only that you banking that sensory memory for later use in a story.

One student mentioned jasmine bushes around her house. A lovely detail, but it wasn’t the plants themselves that stood out to me as she talked about this exercise. What captivated me was when she said her husband planted them after their trip to India. This detail reveals so much about their relationship and evokes a powerful memory. A simple line of description like that in a story would give the reader instant insight into the character of the husband.

When crafting your scenes, decide what emotions you want to evoke and use sensory details to achieve that.

So: go outside (if it’s safe for you to do so) and immerse yourself in your surroundings. If you can’t go outside, use your immediate environment to practice sensory observation. The more you practice, the richer and more vivid your descriptions will become, resonating deeply with your readers.

I hope this helps!


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Categories
Craft

Create Memorable Characters in Writing Fiction

If you want to create a memorable character, I need you to taste them.

Hold on. Stay with me. I promise this is going somewhere.

This is just a quick little exercise to round out or give some depth to your characters, to your protagonists.

Go to the beginning of the story. It doesn’t matter if it’s a short story or a novel or a series. If you’re working in a series, then start at the beginning of the series, page one of the series, and go all the way to the end of the series. Whether you’ve gotten that far or not doesn’t really matter.

Describe your protagonist in crippling detail in that first page.

Not for the writing, not for the novel. You’re not necessarily going to put it into the book. This is just for you. This is just an exercise. Take some time and describe that protagonist in excruciating detail.

I want you to taste them.

What would they taste like if you licked their cheek or their arm? Like what? What kind of sensations? Not just what they look like. Not her long, beautiful blonde hair. What does she actually smell like at the beginning of the story? Give as many sensory details as you possibly can. Dispassionately, no judgment. This is just for you.

Go in deep with all of your senses, as much sensory stuff as you can possibly squeeze into this description for page one, where they start the story.

Then, very simply, repeat this exercise for them on the last page of the story or the book or the series.

Now what do they taste like, now what do they smell like, now what do they sound like? And of course, what do they look like? Does she have a scar on her face now that she didn’t have before? Does he have a limp now that he didn’t have before? Whatever those things were, how are they different at the end?

Those things should be different because your character has been on a journey, and every successful story has to do with the character going on a journey, right?

Let’s say we’re writing a horror story, and some terrible things are going to happen on that camping trip. How does this character look, smell, taste, feel – all those things – at the beginning of this journey, in the car, on the way to the woods; do you smell the coffee? Versus the last page of a horror story: what do they look like now, what do they smell like?

I am not necessarily advocating for you to include all of these vivid descriptions in the story. You certainly can. They are there to be used, and that’s fine. But the purpose, the goal of this particular exercise isn’t just to create new and exciting ways to describe your character.

It’s to more concretely establish in your mind, as creator of this universe, the journey that your character has been on, having those kinds of sensory details in your mind that you can call upon. “I have to remember that at the end of this book, the end of the story, the end of this series, the target goal I’m aiming for here is somebody who is stronger (or somebody who is weaker), somebody who’s been through hell, but come out on the other side.”

How can you physically indicate what they’ve been through emotionally?

It’s just an exercise. It’s not necessarily something you want to put into the book, although once you have those sensory details, maybe it is something you want to put in the, maybe just in the process of doing this sort of exercise, you’ve discovered something about the character that you hadn’t thought of before. Discoveries are so much fun, especially for those of us who are pantsers rather than plotters.

Having those sort of concrete details can really root you as a creator and show us as the reader the journey that they have taken.

Categories
Fiction notes

Dad cleared his throat. Yeah, so?

Hello my friends! I hope you are well and safe and WORKING on something that feeds your soul! 🙂

I am editing an older novel of mine right now and encountered this line, occurring during a tense family dinner:

Dad cleared his throat and set his fork down.

There’s nothing wrong with it. It functions, and functionality (or clarity) is paramount. But what if we did this instead:

Dad examined his fork as if searching for defects.

It’s not Shakespeare, but it does reveal more about Dad and avoids a sentence we could probably find in thousands of novels. With that one sentence, can you see his expression? Does it say more about him than the cliche of clearing his throat?

Be on the lookout for these little adjustments when you revise your work!

Take care, keep working,

~ Tom